Since I have been going to doctor's appointments pretty regularly, my mother has been riding my back about missing work.. "don't get fired!" "You need the money!" "Why can't you just go to work?"
Well.. she finally nagged me about it so much that I started worrying about it. What if they did fire me for missing days? etc...
Today when I went into work, I found that some "restructuring" had happened while I was away. Until now, I have had no permanent desk (they were all taken), and I "floated" to whatever desk was available at the time. They have decided now to have several people work from home, so that I have my own desk!! I'm so excited! (that should show you what a nerd i am!)
Also, my boss came in to see how I was feeling. I told him that I was better, but that my back was still a little sore. He wanted to know if my chair was ok, if it was going to be ok for me to sit in it all day.
I told him yes, but unfortunately, I was going to have to leave early today, too. I had another dr's appointment.
He looked at me and said "I knew before I hired you that you had medical issues (I had listed them on my resume, stating that I would have multiple medical appointments) and would be going to the doctor. Don't worry about it. We all pitch in when you're gone, same as you do when others are gone." Then he gave me a "peace" sign and walked away.
The peace sign was a little strange, but you have to know my boss. He said the perfect thing to me.
Thank God for understanding people!!
Friday, October 19, 2007
Every day is an adventure...
Wednesday I had a lumbar puncture done at the hospital. After the procedure, I was in the radiology prep area, and the lights went out. Apparently there had been some kind of short in the wiring, because they said it was going to take at least 3 hours to get the lights back on. It was dark. and hot. and the medication was locked up with an electronic lock ( i.e. no pain medication). I was supposed to lay on my back there for at least 3 hours. I had been there about 3 minutes when the power went off.
It would not have been quite as bad, I don't think, if it were not for the surrounding sounds. I could hear doctors rescheduling and releasing other patients. And the patient next to me, an elderly lady by the sound of it, kept coughing, sounding like she was about to throw up. And then she did... and I heard it hit the floor. About that point, I decided that it was time for me to go home. At least at home there was air conditioning, tylenol, and tv.
It would not have been quite as bad, I don't think, if it were not for the surrounding sounds. I could hear doctors rescheduling and releasing other patients. And the patient next to me, an elderly lady by the sound of it, kept coughing, sounding like she was about to throw up. And then she did... and I heard it hit the floor. About that point, I decided that it was time for me to go home. At least at home there was air conditioning, tylenol, and tv.
Thursday, October 18, 2007
Honor thy Father and Mother
My upbringing was not religious, to say the least. I know my mother does not believe in God, and if my dad does, he doesn't show it. My mother is very disdainful and derrogatory about any suggestion of God's power.
She is still trying to search for SOME reason that I am still clean. It must be the medication, or just that time in your life, or you finally grew up or something.. she says. No.. it was God. I have told her this, but she does not believe it.
Both my maternal and paternal grandmothers have told me how happy they are that i have found the Lord, and that they pray for my parents. I pray always that my mother will know that amazing love and grace of God, and of my Savior Jesus Christ.
She is still trying to search for SOME reason that I am still clean. It must be the medication, or just that time in your life, or you finally grew up or something.. she says. No.. it was God. I have told her this, but she does not believe it.
Both my maternal and paternal grandmothers have told me how happy they are that i have found the Lord, and that they pray for my parents. I pray always that my mother will know that amazing love and grace of God, and of my Savior Jesus Christ.
Marriage
Yes, I am married. I met my husband Rob when I was sixteen, at a program for smart kids at Lamar University in Beaumont, Tx.
We were friends for a year there, and then both moved back to our respective homes (about 1.5 hours apart) and kept in touch lightly by email, occassionally phone.
On my 21st birthday, Rob came down to visit, and after that we started dating. A year later he asked me to marry him. At this time, we were very compatible. We both drank, smoked pot, were intellectual/philosophical, liked heavy metal, and had a general distrust of religion.
We were married Dec. 7, 2003 in a chapel in Commerce, Tx.
Life was not bliss, but it was good. We managed pretty well (while still doing drugs and drinking of course) until 2005. Things had gotten bad enough emotionally and financially that we were smoking pot almost every waking minute, drinking, and i was abusing prescription pain medication (given for back pain)
In the fall of that year, i learned that my mother had been diagnosed with breast cancer, and the lease on my apartment was coming up. I wanted to go be with her.
We were going to move into a mobile home in Jan, and the other renters were supposed to be out. They weren't we ended up living in a motel for about 3 weeks, which was the beginning of the last downhill slide.
I became addicted to crack. Rob couldn't understand, and he left me, in the middle of the night on valentine's while i was asleep.
Then the rounds of inpatient/outpatient began. AA, NA, CA... tried them all.
They could keep me sober for a little while, but I was just overwhelmed with cravings, all the time. I thought about it, i dreamed about it..
After I got out of the hospital the final time in October 06, an amazing change occurred for me. I had no cravings. None. To me it felt as though the hand of God had reached into my brain and removed the part that was torturing me.
My husband, during this period of separation, had been living with his mom, working at her office. He said that if i could stay sober six months, he's come back.
Six months came and went, and still he had excuses. I didn't pressure. But the more i talked to him, the more i realized that I was not who i once was.
My eyes were open, and I had been washed in the Holy Spirit. Things in my life were completely different. I had changed, I had grown.
And he had not.
To him, religion was a joke, Jesus was a myth, the "opiate of the masses", and he did not understand that I was no longer the person he married.
We are still struggling to come to terms with the new situation, although he still lives with his mom, an hour and a half away.
stay tuned for parental info....
We were friends for a year there, and then both moved back to our respective homes (about 1.5 hours apart) and kept in touch lightly by email, occassionally phone.
On my 21st birthday, Rob came down to visit, and after that we started dating. A year later he asked me to marry him. At this time, we were very compatible. We both drank, smoked pot, were intellectual/philosophical, liked heavy metal, and had a general distrust of religion.
We were married Dec. 7, 2003 in a chapel in Commerce, Tx.
Life was not bliss, but it was good. We managed pretty well (while still doing drugs and drinking of course) until 2005. Things had gotten bad enough emotionally and financially that we were smoking pot almost every waking minute, drinking, and i was abusing prescription pain medication (given for back pain)
In the fall of that year, i learned that my mother had been diagnosed with breast cancer, and the lease on my apartment was coming up. I wanted to go be with her.
We were going to move into a mobile home in Jan, and the other renters were supposed to be out. They weren't we ended up living in a motel for about 3 weeks, which was the beginning of the last downhill slide.
I became addicted to crack. Rob couldn't understand, and he left me, in the middle of the night on valentine's while i was asleep.
Then the rounds of inpatient/outpatient began. AA, NA, CA... tried them all.
They could keep me sober for a little while, but I was just overwhelmed with cravings, all the time. I thought about it, i dreamed about it..
After I got out of the hospital the final time in October 06, an amazing change occurred for me. I had no cravings. None. To me it felt as though the hand of God had reached into my brain and removed the part that was torturing me.
My husband, during this period of separation, had been living with his mom, working at her office. He said that if i could stay sober six months, he's come back.
Six months came and went, and still he had excuses. I didn't pressure. But the more i talked to him, the more i realized that I was not who i once was.
My eyes were open, and I had been washed in the Holy Spirit. Things in my life were completely different. I had changed, I had grown.
And he had not.
To him, religion was a joke, Jesus was a myth, the "opiate of the masses", and he did not understand that I was no longer the person he married.
We are still struggling to come to terms with the new situation, although he still lives with his mom, an hour and a half away.
stay tuned for parental info....
Medical
As I said before, I got a job. I started in January at a local newspaper. I was a reporter. After about a month I started having strange symptoms. Dizziness on standing, visual and aural disturbances, severe headaches, back pain.
After many trips to the doctor, several different prescriptions, 2 CAT scans, an MRI (and a partridge in a pear tree).
It was finally discovered through a spinal tap in the ER that I had pseudotumor cerebri, a very rare disorder. The new name for the disorder is Ideopathic Intracranial Hypertension. What all that jargon means is that your body has a cycle of producing and absorbing cerebrospinal fluid (the fluid around your brain and spinal cord). In my body for some reason, either I produce too much, or I do not absorb enough. Either way, there is too much CSF, and this causes pressure on the spinal cord, brain, and optic nerves. It can cause blindness, among other things, and last ditch treatment is a shunt in the spinal cord to drain the fluid into your peritoneal cavity (stomach area).
I have since had to have 2 more lumbar punctures, and am currently trying to get approved for bariatric surgery, which although doctors don't know why it works, seems to cure many cases of IIH.
The main problem with the disorder is that there is no way to know how high the pressure is until it's really out there. Then, I'm unable to work, because hearing ringing phones and looking at computer screens is painful.
I take medication designed to keep the fluid from building up in my eyes, called Diamox. Which of course, comes with it's own host of side effects.
Nausea, heartburn (terrible... finally had to start taking prilosec every day), and strangely, it affects your sense of taste. I can't drink carbonated sodas now. They taste really poo-ey.
Also, since the medication is a diuretic, I spend lots of time drinking water and going to the bathroom. I drink around 2.5 to 3 gallons per day. (plus more at night).
so... there's the medical history...
stay tuned for marital situation....
After many trips to the doctor, several different prescriptions, 2 CAT scans, an MRI (and a partridge in a pear tree).
It was finally discovered through a spinal tap in the ER that I had pseudotumor cerebri, a very rare disorder. The new name for the disorder is Ideopathic Intracranial Hypertension. What all that jargon means is that your body has a cycle of producing and absorbing cerebrospinal fluid (the fluid around your brain and spinal cord). In my body for some reason, either I produce too much, or I do not absorb enough. Either way, there is too much CSF, and this causes pressure on the spinal cord, brain, and optic nerves. It can cause blindness, among other things, and last ditch treatment is a shunt in the spinal cord to drain the fluid into your peritoneal cavity (stomach area).
I have since had to have 2 more lumbar punctures, and am currently trying to get approved for bariatric surgery, which although doctors don't know why it works, seems to cure many cases of IIH.
The main problem with the disorder is that there is no way to know how high the pressure is until it's really out there. Then, I'm unable to work, because hearing ringing phones and looking at computer screens is painful.
I take medication designed to keep the fluid from building up in my eyes, called Diamox. Which of course, comes with it's own host of side effects.
Nausea, heartburn (terrible... finally had to start taking prilosec every day), and strangely, it affects your sense of taste. I can't drink carbonated sodas now. They taste really poo-ey.
Also, since the medication is a diuretic, I spend lots of time drinking water and going to the bathroom. I drink around 2.5 to 3 gallons per day. (plus more at night).
so... there's the medical history...
stay tuned for marital situation....
Sunday, June 10, 2007
Begining
Ok.. well. Where to start?
I don't have a profile yet, so I suppose we'll start with the basics. I am 25 years old. There now I have at least one solid fact that I can work with.
My life has been.. well.. adventurous would be a nice word.
To tell the whole story would take a lot more space and time than i am willing to give right now, so I will try to hit only the highlights (or lowlights, as it were).
Today is Oct 18, which means that it has been one year and two days since i started my new life.
Since I was about 17, I had a drug problem that eventually escalated into a crack addiction, complete with homelessness, prostitution, loss of family, husband, home, job, etc.
Not fun.
After many bouts of inpatient, outpatient, therapy, medication, meetings, support groups, etc... I was still addicted, and the problem continued.
Last year, on Oct. 16, I finally found the one way to beat the addiction. Salvation through Jesus Christ.
This was not something that came naturally to me. I had spent many years running from religion, trying out alternative religions, etc. I was wiccan, buddhist, atheist.. blah blah blah.
And none of them ever did me one bit of good.
My best friend since Jr. High was a Christian, and I remember many times when we were younger telling her not to preach at me.
Boy, the tables have turned now.
I started attending church, I got a job, I rented a new house (which happens to be next door to the above-mentioned best friend's parents.)
I now have a new job, due to a medical issue I will discuss later.
However, although i have slipped and stumbled a few times, I have never been happier, more confident, more at peace, than I have been since my eyes were opened to God.
I have a hunger for the living Word, the Bible, Jesus, worship, and fellowship with other Christians.
I was baptized on Sept. 16, 2007, and became a new person.
That was the first day of the rest of my life!
See the next post for medical issues....
I don't have a profile yet, so I suppose we'll start with the basics. I am 25 years old. There now I have at least one solid fact that I can work with.
My life has been.. well.. adventurous would be a nice word.
To tell the whole story would take a lot more space and time than i am willing to give right now, so I will try to hit only the highlights (or lowlights, as it were).
Today is Oct 18, which means that it has been one year and two days since i started my new life.
Since I was about 17, I had a drug problem that eventually escalated into a crack addiction, complete with homelessness, prostitution, loss of family, husband, home, job, etc.
Not fun.
After many bouts of inpatient, outpatient, therapy, medication, meetings, support groups, etc... I was still addicted, and the problem continued.
Last year, on Oct. 16, I finally found the one way to beat the addiction. Salvation through Jesus Christ.
This was not something that came naturally to me. I had spent many years running from religion, trying out alternative religions, etc. I was wiccan, buddhist, atheist.. blah blah blah.
And none of them ever did me one bit of good.
My best friend since Jr. High was a Christian, and I remember many times when we were younger telling her not to preach at me.
Boy, the tables have turned now.
I started attending church, I got a job, I rented a new house (which happens to be next door to the above-mentioned best friend's parents.)
I now have a new job, due to a medical issue I will discuss later.
However, although i have slipped and stumbled a few times, I have never been happier, more confident, more at peace, than I have been since my eyes were opened to God.
I have a hunger for the living Word, the Bible, Jesus, worship, and fellowship with other Christians.
I was baptized on Sept. 16, 2007, and became a new person.
That was the first day of the rest of my life!
See the next post for medical issues....
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